Star Trek Discovery Seasons Ranked

Because what better way is there to mark finishing a telly series than by ranking it! And unlike some of its predecessors, I don’t know Disco Trek well enough to do a good faith episode ranking, so it’s seasons. But, alas, this ranking has no rancour, for I love this series. The characters, the relationships, a large majority of the plots, the episodes, the vibe. Sonequa Martin-Green just being so fucking brilliant. It’s a joy to watch.

Season 4 – The I’m Bitter At Bait And Switch Space Horror Season

My most hated Disco season, by which I mean, I was bored through notable amounts of it. It’s not terrible. It’s middling. A promising start of MYSTERY and SPACE HORROR and STRANGE NEW WEIRDNESS collapses way, way too quickly. And it’s lovely they want to make the aliens extra alien, and they do look very pretty indeed, but, damn, make them interesting too.

Burnham and Book’s sadness at being on opposite sides for one scene every other episode is not enough character conflict. Everyone is just so *nice* and *boring * to one another. There’s an episode where everyone holds hands before transporting ffs (I am like 80% sure that’s season four, this is going to be very embarrassing if it’s really season three).

Just meh. Not a horrid meh. A sigh. It’s fine. Like a lukewarm version of The Arrival where instead of investigating cool alien shit everyone tells each other how much they love them every six scenes.

And losing Osyraa to have this…scientist dude be the main antagonist? Ugh. Unfair.

Season 5 – The Callum Keith Rennie Season

This feels like someone noticed my biggest season four gripe and was like, “Well fuck you, we’ll sort that *and* make the entire season a sequel to a mid TNG episode. You like TNG, don’t you? Don’t you??” No, reader, I do not. Though I did laugh when I realised this whole season was going to be The Chase.

A lot of the season is very silly. I didn’t care, I was too distracted by all the deep cut continuity references going on… the fun kind of refs, the ones that just roll past if you don’t know, but if you do, then you spend two episodes trying to work out what species Rayner is and, in frustration, end up looking it up (I don’t do this, I know my Trek, I didn’t waste my childhood rewatching DS9 so a quarter century later I have to Google Trek facts) and bloody hell he’s a Kellerun?! No wonder I couldn’t get it! He’s got the ears, but it’s *cheating* to take away the highly distinctive hairstyle. (The Kellerun were previously appeared in Armageddon Game, a season two DS9 ep, which is most notable for being the start of the great love story between Bashir and O’Brien.)

And it’s Rayner who’s the best thing about season five. He brings back the character conflict! The snark! The relationship drama! He gets to be cranky and snarky, and it’s magnificent. We deserved more of him.

It’s almost interesting to see more about the Breen. I wasn’t *bored* but…am I just still bitter about them killing Osyraa? I might still be bitter. It was nice of them to try anyway. And it’s all either perfectly watchable or perfectly enjoyable. And has a very trad Trek end to the season arc. Which is perfectly acceptable. The ending of the series is also…fine. I mean, I cried, so it was probably more than fine, but for a beloved show going out you tend to want more than clearing up a continuity reference to a mini-episode from three years ago.

Season 2 – The Pike Season

I love this season. But…I don’t love it as much as I thought I did. I think it’s because of Pike’s hair. I’m too used to it in Strange New Worlds now. And when I hit season three, I just felt my energy jump. I was more excited, more engaged.

But season two has a lot going for it: the central mystery was pretty cool, and I got a huge kick out of the reveal that it was Burnham’s Mum jumping around the galaxy. I love Burnham having three Mums. Trek often neglects mother-daughter relationships, but, damn, they were determined to sort that out. Georgiou’s messed up love for Burnham is delicious. Burnham struggling to understand wtf her relationship with Georgiou is is delicious. It doesn’t get enough screen time, but every second is top-tier Trek.

Tig Notaro and her character were inspired choices, and meant we got lots of Stamets’ best side: his bitchiness. I adore this Amanda, and I’m a huge James Frain fan, so delighted with more of his Sarek, and given how I remain furious with Amanda’s fridging in That Movie, it really helped having her back properly. And despite the hair now seeming odd, I do love this Pike. And I love seeing how much he cares about Spock. And seeing Pike confronting and *choosing* the future where he’ll suffer the most horrendous pain is quite something. Anson Mount’s performance in that scene just kills me in the best way.

It’s a fun season, I enjoy. But ffs, why the gratuitously stupid killing of Admiral Cornwell?? Why??

Season 3 – The Osyraa Season

I went into this the first time extremely biased against it. Yes, I wanted sequels not prequels and, yes, technically I’ve now got what I wanted. But they’ve gone too far, dammit. I wanted the next generation, not this strange, new galaxy.

Happily, I’m over that now, and can adore season three properly. It forces the series to do something that, despite all the claim of boldly going, Trek does far less often that you’d expect: explore stuff. And now literally the entire galaxy needs to be reexplored, and we get to do it! Earth, Trill, Vulcan, the fate of the Federation…it’s all slowly revealed. And the Burn is a superb idea – something genuinely terrifying, epically weird, and a top-notch mystery to solve. Solution-wise, I’m okay with it. It doesn’t blow me away, but I don’t hate it.

A slew of my fav episodes are season three: Unification III (so Trek! so very, very Trek! It’s not mind-blowing, but it’s elegant); Georgiou’s mirror universe two-parter (special cheer to the Guardian of Forever!); Adira going to Trill to regain their memories (more very trad Trek, and yet *good* trad – I’ve seen this episode three times and I cry every time Adira is accepted by their other hosts.)

The downside of season three is it makes what I consider Discovery’s Biggest Mistake: they killed Osyraa. Come on, come ON. She was a SUPERB foil for Vance is particular and the Federation in general. The moment where she reveals her Evil Plan of I Want The Emerald Chain To Join The Federation, I literally applauded. The fact that Vance knew, with absolute certainty, that she was telling the truth was genius. The fact that his idealism crashed hard into her realism was delicious. For, yes, I think Vance was wrong: he’s allergic to realpolitik.

And this isn’t DS9, he does win. And there is something almost revolutionary about not compromising on your principles for clear practical gains. And yet…he’s still wrong. And I love that. I love I can have these brilliant scenes between these two new recurring characters negotiating in good faith, and yet it is *impossible* for them to compromise because of who they are and what they believe in.

Wait…Vance is wrong, you say? But Osyraa is a war criminal! True. And in an ideal galaxy, she would be put on trial for that. But what she’s offering is a clear, peaceful way forward that saves and improves millions of lives, and can do so relatively quickly, and Vance *know* she’s telling the truth. And he rejects that in favour of a very likely war because she’s also committed horrific acts, and she isn’t willing to suffer any personal consequences for them. Maybe it’s fucked up for me to think he should have worked with her; history tells me that grand gestures and moral absolutism do very little compared to slow, gradual change, so that’s where it comes from. But, God, I wanted more scenes like this. Osyraa is one of the most under-rated antagonists in Trek. She’s sitting right there with Seska in never reaching the character’s full potential. But what we got? Magnificent.

The ending was perfection: Burnham in the big seat, taking her ship out for the first time. HELL YEAH. I recall complaints when Disco began of the female Black lead not getting to be a captain. Which, sure, I see the issue there, but as a *character* Burnham’s journey to captain gives us something we never got with Kirk, Picard, or even Sisko when they promoted him. We know, we *feel*, what it’s cost her to get there. We aren’t someone being introduced to the awesome captain, we’re someone who knows exactly how hard and how long the awesome captain fought to get to where she is now. It’s a whole different flavour of feeling, and I love it. No promotion on Trek has ever felt so good, or meant so much as Burnham’s.

I do have one question: what the dickens happened to the Klingons? Do we see a single one in the far future?

Season 1 – The Season Of My Heart

Some telly shows needs their first season to find their feet. Some telly shows need three seasons and some very patient executives to find their feet (yeah, looking at you TNG). And some are Star Trek Discovery that decide its first season will be competing for the very best of all the Star Trek seasons.

It’s just so polished, so confident, so knowing exactly what it wants each episode to do, and executing it superbly. From the truly epic opener to the truly epic showdown in the mirror universe, it just doesn’t let up. The collapse of Starfleet hope and wonder in the pilot to the close, tense, shadow-y world of Discovery. The constant feel of Something Off. The slow lighting of dark corners to discover exactly what’s going on. Characters all betrayed or brittle or afraid, and how they rise out of that to the triumphant finale. God, it’s good.

The scenes between Burnham and Emperor Georgiou hit as hard as any Trek. Both actors are so subtle, so precise, in those moments that I feel like I’m holding my breath. And the relationship is so very messed up. But the feelings are real. And the big twist for me wasn’t the mirror!universe, it was Burnham not being able to let Georgiou die. And their fight scene! I mean, Michelle Yeoh’s there, so yeah, but even so, glorious.

I didn’t even mind all the Klingon chit-chat. And I hate Klingons.

Flaws? I have three: first, those red-jewelled tips on L’Rell’s costume. They are plastic and they look it. They annoyed me so much. Second, L’Rell waving that gizmo around when she showed the High Council the bomb and that was all the proof the other Klingons needed? Wtf? My brain could not parse this scene in a satisfactory way. Third, and most egregiously, they tricked me into thinking they were setting up for a T’Pol reveal! All that talk about the last people to go to the Klingon homeworld etc. And they could have done it! She could easily have been alive! And they didn’t do it. I was so annoyed.

And Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum aka the One Where Saru Communes With Big Crystals is pretty dull.

But, yeah, petty complaints, because what a season. Writing about it just makes me want to jump right back in. Oh, Disco!Trek, you will be missed.