Where is the stop button on the time clock please?

I remain vaguely optimistic that at some point we’ll be so far into the future, time will curve round and we can start counting down years and I’ll feel much better. I haven’t got over it not being 1998 anymore, so being in Back to the Future II future-time is more than a little disconcerting.

It’s also that horrid time of year when you feel vaguely obligated to look back on the past twelve months and resist the urge to dive into the nearest suitably deep pool of cold water and hope your past is swapped with a more productive one by the time you come up from air. I made a list to try and help and, admittedly, it made me feel slightly better, and then slightly worse, so yes, whatever list.

But a new year! Exciting! On the very first day I celebrated by trusting Netflix to choose me a film. It recommended The Legend of Hercules, presumably so that I could suffer through it and thus prevent anyone who read this post from doing the same. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THE THINGS. It’s not just full of bland, boring characters doing bland, boring heroics, it’s busy being offensive with three whole female character cut-outs: one who’s killed by her husband; one who stabs herself to save her Heroic True Love from having to make a tricky decision; and one priestess who gets possessed by a Hera who thinks it’s a fine idea for her husband to cheat on her with another woman if it’s in the cause of peace. You know, Hera, the goddess who stuck a handful of venomous snakes in the cot of Zeus’s bastard offspring cause she was so pleased with the cheating. That Hera. She also has a floaty whispery voice, while Zeus is represented with great swirls of thunder, lightning, and Hercules looking like he’s about to declare “By the power of Greyskull!”

On the bright side, it did have Liam McIntyre in a supporting role, showing a slightly wider range than I’d given him credit for, and also managing to make whole minutes vaguely bearable since I’m awfully fond of him thanks to Spartacus.

I should make up some New Year’s resolutions or something.

1) Don’t trust Netflix’s recs (it’s also responsible for that time I watched that awful film about the magic horse that makes everyone fall in love it and then they die.)

2) More Lego. Lego is good and full of cheer.

3) Less judging self for needing ten hours sleep. With so many other things to be self-judgey about, you won’t even miss it, surely!

4) Better food stuffs. I’ve done very well already. I had like seven Brussel sprouts two days ago.

5) Neater inboxes. I do like it when they’re neat, and feel much better, but, aargh, the email fear.

This was actually going to be a post about the Doctor Who Christmas Special (and I do talk about it on last week’s Verity!), but I’m currently in a little bit of a snit at Peter Capaldi as The Musketeers just came back on and he wasn’t in it, and I know according time or energy or mass or whatever he can’t be in both it and Doctor Who, and if it came down to it I’d prefer he was the Doctor (I did have to think about it though, for several seconds) BUT STILL.

Okay, that’s enough run-on sentences for one post. Farewell, delicious readers! And Happy New Year!

4 thoughts on “Where is the stop button on the time clock please?

  1. You’re right about Netflix’ recommendations, they’ve never been very good. I deleted all of my reviews and the recommendations actually got slightly better, which isn’t how they intend for it to work. BTW, IMDB says ‘The Legend of Hercules’ has a Metascore of 22 with a rating of 4.2, so perhaps you should check there to avoid another awful experience in the future.

    I like the rest of your resolutions, especially #3. You should trust that your body knows better than society what you need, and get enough sleep. It will make you more productive when you’re awake, and help you stay healthy. I need a lot of sleep too, and it really makes everything harder when I don’t get enough.

    Is ‘The Musketeers’ any good without Capaldieu? His scenes were the best part of season one, and it doesn’t seem like they left much room for a graceful departure for his character.

  2. I have been Capaldflicted on this issue since before the new season of Doctor Who started. It’s amazing I was able to like him in the role at all.

    Well, no, probably not a shocker at all, but still.

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